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Holiday cheer Dec. 24th, 2006 @ 10:09 pm
Happy ChrismaChanaKwanzaka to you!

I recently decided that fuck the politics, FUCK the family feuds and FUCK FUCK FUCK all the stupid shit in the world. For the rest of these FINE x-mas days I shall be excited and a five year old. Tomorrow when I open presents I will revert back to the good ol days when Santa existed and I woke up at 5am to see what was under the tree. yes... that will be good.

Happy Holidays everyone!
Current Mood: childy
Current Music: "Christians and Pagans"

Dec. 18th, 2006 @ 10:07 pm
Stuck To You"

Holding my breath
For a whole month
If I held your breath
At least we would touch

Keeping from you
Keeps me from sleep
It's just this bad beat
That I just can keep

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you

My hearts on the floor
My feet feel like lead
I'd quit the tour
But I'm already dead

Our only connection is synthetically
We show our affection electronically

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you

We lock lips and throw the key out
till it slips that
I must leave town
Our love reaches
Across oceans
To your beaches
Lonely notions

Oh girl, it's true
I can never be away from you
It's like you gloss your lips with glue
Oh we kiss and I am stuck to you
-HelloGoodbye "Stuck To You"

(yeah.. it's a lyric day because music helps me study so here... and this album is really like.. electronic but I like it and their lyrics just keep... talking to me.
Current Music: Hello Goodbye - "Here In Your Arms"

Random fun! Dec. 10th, 2006 @ 11:30 pm
Comment to this message and I will assign you a letter of the alphabet. Then go to your journal and post a list of 10 words that begin with this letter and what they mean to you.

1: Friendship _ friendship is the one thing that anyone can always count on. If you look at your friendship with someone and can't rely on them, then there is no reason to be their friend. You friends will always be there, if you are lucky enough.

2: Fantasy _ to me fantasy is that ultimate situation that makes you the happiest you know you can be. I mean I've got one fantasy that beats all the rest because it is that moment that makes me the happiest. But the reason they are fantasies is because they are things you can't have or at least can't have right this second.

3: Family _ Family, ya have to love 'em but you don't have to like 'em. And most of the time though... it's your friends who become your family.

4: Food _ I love food, but mainly it is something that can be used for absolutley everything. Comfort, family, attraction shit everything. That's why it has it's own network. hehehehe (p.s- I just watched the holiday CAKE off...)

5: Film _ Let's think... one of THE most influential art forms of the past couple of centuries. Independent, Indie, mainstream even at times, foreign, documentaries, some of them are beyond brilliant. So yes that's how I feel about that.

6: Fine _ this is a term used to describe how people are feeling. But most of the time it actually means "I'm not dead but I'm not happy and I'm not sure how life is gonna be for the next couple of hours"

7: Feelings _ these loverly little things that make people crazy, happy, or nuts. Too many feelings and too many options and awkward feelings. I say we ebolish them.

8: Fun _ when an activity is something that makes you smile and your heart skip a beat. It's very possible that you COULD be having fun. It's my favorite thing in the world.

9: Fix _ Can we fix things that are broken? And if they are broken should be fix them? Why do I feel as though this is a serious paradox? Let's use Fix in the terms of pine wood, a drill, and some screws. In that case OF COURSE!

10: FUCK! _ My favorite word in the world. It can be used in so many different ways. LOVE IT!
Current Mood: chipperChillin
Current Music: TV noise

Dec. 1st, 2006 @ 10:51 pm
DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehehe okay I have a question for you EVERYONE?!! WHO ELSE BESIDES ME! WOULD GET SUPER DUPER HAMMERED AND START DOING WORK AND STUDYING FOR HER FINALS?!?!?! NO ONE ELSE BUT ME!!!!!!! WHEUWMAHD

I'll regret this in the morning

Nov. 29th, 2006 @ 12:53 pm
Life is what me make of it?
That's what so many greats have said
Tell you to lift up your head
Follow your country men
Live your life up to your potential.
But how do you know what that is?
How do you know where your potential ends and begins?
Maybe it's like a song buried in your heart
That one day you will just blurt out
Blurt out and finally understand
There must be an epiphany
Something that tells you you're on the right track
On the right train to get to the right station.
But there are too many trains
and the tracks go in too many directions.
And schedules can be confusing and misleading
There must be a right time of departure to set you on your journey.
Have I found it?
Am I kidding myself?
Am I truly in love with my train and the direction it's going?
Maybe the direction is right but I'm on the wrong train.
I should get off and go back
Go back and start again
Because there is potential and it is in my heart,
but I feel like I'm not where I'm supposed to be.

If i'm following my heart, I should be in Phillie...


(stream of couisness with some rhyme and analogy.. could be poetry, but I haven't done that in awhile. Who knows take it or leave it)

-SES
Current Mood: blankblank
Current Music: Ani - "If it isn't her"
Other entries
» Today
Today is a brighter day. I know why but god knows I'm not gonna say. I'm more optomistic, the sun is brighter, and all around, I think things are starting to click. Maybe it'll make things easier maybe it'll make them harder but ALL i know is that it makes me happier. To be able to say... * **** * **********! and no I won't tell you because I realize this is the one thing that can be mine. The one thing I won't have to explain and the one thing I don't have to share. Sometimes you need your own space and your own secrets and something to keep close to your heart. I've got it now. It's good to be home..

Don't make me go back .
» I miss you baby...
"Thousand Mile Wish"

Forgive me if now I wear the face of worry
This time alone could never cause any doubt
But I’ve been cold too long
Such a strange time to find myself coming down as the rain
With all these holes my love,
To fill up from the middle
This storm could stay all night

So can you stay until we close our eyes
Til your dreams hold mine
Just stay until we know we tried one more time

Cause laughing lovers can overcome their closest demons
And they’ll go on and they won’t let go
They saw something that they know
Has never come so close
Can it stay here for us, for now?

Can it stay until we know ourselves?
I’m torn as I tell
You’re the story that I know and fell from
I’m so far into your story I don’t know why
We think we’re in control
When we lie between the lines

We’ll find a line to follow
It’s got to show real soon
Or we’ll never reach this high

We climb a little further
Cause there’s nothing we can’t get around together
Further gets colder until nothing was all that I saw around

So we stay until the ground
That we can’t come down from splits us away
Maybe stars know why we fall
I just wish they were thinking out loud
Oh, I could wish all night
» wrok
Gotta lot of work to do. I've realized that procrastinating for an extreme amount of time leads to me working a whole hell of a lot. So this is a short post just to say.. hey i'm a live, kicking, and working. Waiting and counting down the days for thanksgiving break to come. Because all I want is some fucking home cooking and family and friends. Oh oh oh how it will be amazing.

-SeS

P.S- being 20 feet away from Ani Difranco on Saturday Night was the most amazing feeling in the entire world.
» (No Subject)
"Save My Life"

She's back on drugs again
Even though she knows it ain't right
She can't even call up her friends
And say "help me save my life"
She's so ashamed of herself that she's come full circle
Nobody understands what it's like to
Be this girl
So she disappeared, and she
Wasn't clear, and she
Didn't say where she was going

Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, won't you help me
Save my life, won't you hear me
Save my life, won't you help me

She had the man of her dreams
And some success
And she was so happy, and looking well
It was this one dark night, that she
Slipped
And then the next morning that she
Felt like a piece of shit
So she's hanging out, and she's
With the crowd, and she's
Travelin' where the wind is blowing


And he's a real good guy and he
Wants to save her 'cause he's
More than been there all before
And she's so confused and his heart is breaking and he
Dreams she's knocking on his door


I've reverted back to lyrics... This is Pink by the way. So yes.. uh... pulling an all nighter and I've come to the conclusion that I have WAY too much music on my computer for my own good. But it's songs like these that are helping me do this. Because You are right baby, I'm not okay and you should be worried. But I can do this, I've done it before even even when you are all the way in PA, too far from me to hold me and whisper in my ear that everything will be okay and that I'm strong enough to do this, I have your voice at least 3 times a day. And I can do this, because you believe in me and that's all that matters. I can do this and I will. Don't worry baby, it'll all be okay I promise, i'm gonna be that strong girl you apparently see. I'm gonna do this. Thank you Christina.

-SES
» I refuse
I refuse to go back to the way I was at one point in my life. because I can recall those moments and I can also remember that I don't know what happened to me in middle school or in any of those moments. So I can stand here, at college on my own and say that I am better. I am not where i was I can stand up and say that. I can Say that when I smile it's not a fake smile. it's not due to some drug or drink it is because I am smiling. So I need to stay there. I refuse to go back to the way life was before. I don't want to live in the haze of hell that I always seemed to put myself in.

So yes.. that's just me trying to re assure myself on my current situation in life.

P.S- I wish it was thanksgiving.
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