There is a saying that I think I've always truly believed in and that is the honest truth, "You have to pay your dues." Especially in theatre this is 100% true. You have to take the crap jobs and do the bitch work in order to work your way up a ladder. So what have I done? I busted my ass at Toby's to get to where I was offered the dream job of anyone wanting to work in theatre and at the mere age of 19. What do I do to the offer that meant the world to me because it came from a family I sacrificed so much for over a long span of years? I said no, I had to go to school I needed to learn more in order to become a better worker, stage manager, tech, and person. Right? Those are all amazing and perfectly honest reasons to have to go to school. So where's the problem.... I transferred. You make a name for yourself in any college, especially in theatre your freshman year. Came here as a sophomore. No one got to see all the effort I put in putting up with the ass holes at RIC, the people who couldn't measure, the professors who hated teaching. I paid my dues that freshman year, made sure everyone ended up knowing who I was, I PAID MY DUES. So here I've paid dues to an organization that wanted to repay me for that blood, sweat, and pinched nerve. Then I go to RIC and pay my dues and I know I could have truly be a big part of all of that collaboration, maybe been able to push myself run the shop, force the ass holes to listen and give the students a chance to show their work. I paid my dues and would have reaped the benefits (not without a fight of course).
But here.. in Temple I'm paying my dues all over again. ASM'ing a show with 6 Sm's and 6 actors, baby sitting an idiot, working with non-theatre majors and a girl who I think I could do her job better than. And do I get to reap the benefits next year? No, I'll have to work twice as hard next year to learn anything, take classes again i've already taken because they are not "up to Temple's standards". (intro, principles of design, and Theatre History 1. How many times do I need to learn about Shakespeare and Greek theatre?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?) So what will I learn? Nothing new. What will I get for the dues I've paid? More pain and sacrifice out of my pocket.
Leaving the dream job to come and relearn all the things I know, not be able to learn anything new, and definetly not grow as a theatre worker. Way to go... I wish I was done paying my dues.
(This was my rant, the thing that made me cry, the reason I rethink the things I've done in my life. But there are benefits to Temple.. a lot. I love Philly, I love my girlfriend, I love being close to home, I love the people here, I love my gen-ed classes. Its a rant, it needed to happen. But in all honesty... I thought I would stop missing RIC once I left.. it just feels a lot like home and I'm not there. Fuck... let's go to the ocean)